Más vivo que muerto

Hay gente que es extremadamente descuidada. Alguno puede llegar a dejar la llave del auto dentro y quedarse del lado de afuera, otro se olvida la pava en el fuego y se va a hacer las compras, y hay quien da por muerta a la abuela y se despide como si nada. ¿Qué está pasando? Hace poco nos enterábamos de una mujer en Edimburgo a la que prácticamente no le creían que estuviese viva, y ahora, la pobre Li Xiufeng, que a sus 95 años, todavía tiene para un tiempo más de vida, la dieron por muerta porque no se movía. Menos mal que la tradición china indica que hay que dejar el ataúd en la casa de la familia varios días antes del entierro para que todos puedan despedirse sin apuro. Cuando el día se acercaba, una de sus nietas fue a echar un vistazo y se llevó un susto y una sorpresa ya que no estaba donde la habían dejado. ¿Y dónde estaba? ¡Haciéndose una comidita en la cocina! “Dormí por mucho tiempo. Después de despertar sentí mucha hambre y vine a cocinar algo para comer. Tuve que empujar mucho la tapa del ataúd antes de poder salir”, dijo Li en chino, como si despertarse dentro de un féretro fuese algo de lo más normal. Y mientras revolvía su guisito decía: Antes muerta que cadáver, ji ji ji y le agregó un condimento secreto.

 

(Publicado en Crucigrama Nº 895)

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